I like big butts, and I cannot lie.

For as long as the media has been around, there has been a constant debate over what is considered attractive and what is not: Blondes vs. Brunettes, Skinny vs. Curvy, Boobs vs. Ass. And any other anatomy versus another. Most women already know how much stress this causes us, the pressure to be attractive and  be appealing as the media says to be. Well, just the other day, the owner (and my amazingly hot friend) of the modeling group I work with asked us girls for our sizes so she can get us our Christmas presents... I was the first to respond and for a while the only one. I stared at my sizes as if they were plastered on a billboard and immediately became self-conscious.

HEY EVERYONE, I HAVE A BIG ASS AND HUGE BOOBS BUT I'M ALSO REALLY SHORT. IT'S NOT AWKWARD AT ALL.

While looking at my sizes, then of pictures of myself, and then of what the media considers fat or "curvy", I fall into the category of Plus-sized model. Now.. to be fair my pants are of the larger variety, mostly to fit my amazingly round ass into them. But I don't think of myself as plus-sized. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I have a few lady crushes on women who are nice and thick (yay boobs!) and they are fantastically beautiful. Perhaps I take extra sensitivity to this topic because through high school and college I was in the best shape of my life, and I fit into smalls, size 7 jeans and size 6 dresses, hardly ever having to try things on...

College: Italy wins world cup. Yeah buddy! I was also my natural hair color back then.

Lately, life has changed.

I've gotten a little older, health problems have kicked in.

This is what I look like these days.. Size 12, DD, "good birthing hips" (giggity?), and I weigh about 155.

Now: my father and I on my wedding day 2 weeks ago

Some amateur modeling, showing curves and lines...ass ass ass ass 

It might sound ridiculous, but putting my measurements and weight up for people to see is very difficult. No one likes to admit they are a size they are not comfortable with. Media says I am overweight. Some days I agree, and other days, like today, I decide to disagree. Sure I could stand to lose a few pounds, but I have more important things to worry about. I am healthy, happy, and not unpleasant to look at...so it works out.

The main point I want to get across is that size is not everything. When you reach a certain place in life, pleasing everyone with your looks is not longer a priority. I am learning to be at peace with my body, instead of battling against it.

Love yourself, no matter how big your pants are (heyoooo), how wide your hips are, or how much ass you may or may not have. If the person you are with wants you to change what you look like, turn around and walk away from them. You'll find someone that will see your beauty emanate from the inside out, where it truly counts. 

It has taken me years of self-development and conquering bulimia to be able to say that. I don't need to lose weight because...fuck you!