Fitting in to society: Who needs to?

Most of my life I have not quite fit into any one circle of society. In high school, I was too much of a"jock" to hang out with the "nerds". But I was too much of a "nerd" to hang out with the "jocks", and never in the "popular" crowd. So I mostly hung out alone, or with my 2 best friends. By the time I made it to college, my mindset became that I'm simply an outcast. Not the weirdo sacrificing goats in his dorm summoning spirits (although there is even a place for that guy with the Pagans and Wickens) but the outcast that doesn't have a definite social signifier.

            
                                    A goat. Isn't he cute?

Metal
The metal genre of music brought me into a subculture. It's odd because it is another interest of mine that ISN'T ACCEPTED IN SOCIETY. Dammit. Okay so not everyone can fall asleep to some intense pig squeals and brutal breakdowns. However, there is a view of "metal heads" that we are anarchists, detriment to social structure, uneducated, drug using, dirty, greasy, long-haired, miscreants... Alright, we all have that ONE friend that is exactly that (mine is named, Metal Bob...yeah..). That misconception leaves me not wanting to be forthcoming with my taste in music. My career background is corporate finance, and while I am in the middle of managing accounts, my headphones are flooding my brain cells with delicious screams and tasty breakdowns. It's entertaining when coworkers find out my favorite band, or the concerts I went to over the weekend (yeah, explaining black eyes or bruised ribs from a mosh pit isn't easy). I might love gut busting death growls, but dammit I am considerate to knowing that most people don't want to listen to what I like.

That brings me to...

Tattoos
The prevalence of young people in our generation getting tattoos is almost shocking. It is no longer a subculture, because pretty much everyone has at least 1 tattoo. A little butterfly on your hip, or stars on your feet: totally accepted. I, on the other hand, have every intention of as much skin as possible being tattooed. My arm, thigh, and ribs already have little to no skin showing. Sometimes I get a lot of shit for my artwork, people saying I "destroyed my body". I've even heard "you were pretty, until I saw those tattoos. It's a shame". Well. Fuck off. I have taken the path of owning my skin, it is my own, and I choose to make it beautiful how I see fit. My husband admires my art, he even has a favorite piece that he adores and cherishes. The fact that I had so many beautiful tattoos is what drew him to me initially (and my awesome ass, I mean, that thing is good). When someone puts down my tattoos, I feel that they are in fact putting down the different parts of who I am as a person. And that doesn't make anyone feel good at all.

                                                       
                                                                      Boomin' Granny

I respect your opinion about me, I cannot change it, I accept it, and I don't want to hear it if it's hurtful.

When we are younger, it is SO essential to fit in. To be well liked. Fulfill the template of what the media is putting out for us to be. We look at all the kids who have the hottest clothes, shoes, cell phones, and all that shit. Though as we get older, we start to realize (hopefully anyway) that not everyone will like us, approve of our lifestyle, accept our choices. And that's okay. My outward appearance can be deceiving and perceived as a brutal metal chick that doesn't have feelings, is an asshole, and is ignorant of classic culture. Sometimes I am content with that because it keeps the hurtful people out, and those who want to take the time to know me, realize the true me. Yeah, I'm pretty brutal at times, but I'm incredibly aware of peoples emotions and I feel deeply for others. Only few experience the soft-side, know that I am classically trained to play the piano, I am fluent in French and Italian, I can cook food from all cultures....oh, and I love robots, Star Wars and physics.

I am a physical contradiction.  

Be at peace with who you are. Love yourself. Embrace differences and similarities. Never lose who you are to please others. Turn your struggles into victories.